Wednesday Wisdoms with Steph
I’m almost positive everyone has read about at least one of my crazy/amusing mornings driving to school. The vans, the dogs, etc. Well, now I can add one more to the list… birds. Ever heard the expresssion killing 2 birds with one stone. I think I just made this saying even more epic. I killed 4 birds with one car!!
So I’m driving down the road minding my own business. You know how birds just sit in the road when their is roadkill? Well… this is the case for my story. A flock of small gray birds were just huddling in my lane. Usually they fly off before the car actually gets to them. And they did, just as i suspected. I was in the right lane…they flew to the right. And just to clear something up, I think birds are the STUPIDEST creature alive. They run into windows even when you DON”T use Windex. Lol.
So they go to the right and then out of nowhere! they made an immediate u-turn and started flying toward the road! Keep in mind I am going like 60 mph on this little back country road with no one around. The birds, in the U-turn process, are now flying directly in front of my car!!! You would think they would fly up or around or something…anything….to get out of the way. Nope. They are stupid. All of a sudden BOOM BOOMBOOM BOOOOM.!!!!!!.( Side note: I am one of those people who absolutely hates feeling roadkill under my tire. I cringe, I scream, I freak out. It just doesn’t work with me.)
Theeeeenn started the screaming. LOL I freaked out. The birds literally hit my car!! OMG. I seriously about started to cry but at the same time it was kinda funny that the birds just flew into my car and no one was around to witness my mass murder. Tehehe. 
Anyway, I didn’t see them anywhere after their ridiculous collision with my massive Buick Lacrosse. ( Big to me because I am a small girl. lol) So I got to school and told everyone that sits with me and they thought it was hilarious. But at the time I was very upset about this. Think about it… I just killed FOUR of God’s creatures. And not just any creature.. the only flying animal alive!! How cool is that? And I, Stephanie, just about put them into extinction. Yay me. LOL I was afraid to look at the front of my car afterwords, in fear that a bird might me gruesomely shoved in my grill. Later, I came to the conclusion that if there was it would make the story 10x funnier. Ha! So after school I gained enough courage to look and nothing was there EXCEPT feathers shoved in the groove of my headlights. Ew. I took a picture with my nifty cellular device but unfortunately I can’t put that on here because I don’t know how. Sorry.
Lesson learned: Birds are stupid. Windex doesn’t work. And I still don’t know how to get feathers out of my headlights.
~See you guys next week, and sorry for the slightly late post. Toodles!!~
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Wednesday Wisdoms with Steph!
Everyone in the world should be familiar with MapQuest. If not, then you are living in the dark ages and should crawl back into your cave immediately before technology makes your brain explode into a million pieces.. :] Anyway, I had another one of my random thoughts..
MapQuest should seriously consider starting at Step #5 instead of #1. I am most definitely sure that I know how to get out of my DRIVEWAY! Lol. It’s just that moment when you are reading the directions “ok go southeast north .2 miles and drive. Then take 0.0 miles to the left going northwest. Take sharp right onto 60W/Hwy 330/ AKA THE ROAD NEXT TO YOUR HOUSE.” Then you realize oh, it means take a right out of my driveway and get onto the main road…. Ha!
I think someone should contact the creators of this useful directorial internet source and let them know of this minor problem. OR we could all just start typing in the address for outside of our driveway and go from there. Either way. I think its funny. Maybe I will do that one day. Ok let’s get real, i won’t. Because I have more ways to waste my time and I just don’t care that much. LOL. Well, I will talk to you guys next week!! 
~Toodles!~
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We all know that cars are a few pennies more than most of us have in our pockets on a daily basis. But, a wise man once said… No matter how much you paid for the car, they all end up looking the same after the wreck. So why do we put soooo much emphasis on a “pretty” car?
Sure, they look cool. We look like we have money if we have a car that’s a nice pretty shiny penny.
Whether you have a beat up Nissan Altima or a Porche, they all get hit the same way, they all drive, and each one gets you from point A to point B.
My little cousin is turning 16 this Saturday and I don’t think I want her on the roads just yet… LOL. She is one of those ditsy blondes who can’t spell selling like I was talking about in a previous Wednesday Wisdom. She went looking for cars with her parents last week and they looked at just about every car you can think of. The Ford Taurus, the Dodge Neon, some trucks, some type of Subaru, and a Mitsubishi Evolution. Of course, her being a 16 year old, she was very picky about what the car LOOKED like. She is SIXTEEN. She shouldn’t be allowed to be picky!! When I was 16 I didn’t get a car. I got it later on and it was given to me. Actually by my wonderful grandparents and aunts who you all love to read so much!! I didn’t get to choose or be picky. When you are 16 you don’t need a fancy, high tech, shiny car. You don’t. You need something that you can LEARN in and experience in. Just in case of course.
So anyway, she goes Saturday to get her license. I think they may have decided on a truck which I am perfectly ok with for her because she is small and the truck is safer. Have any of you experienced a teenage driving experience. Kids, neices, nephew, etc?? Well let’s see some comments and I’ll talk to you guys next week!! Toodles!
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Another Wednesday Wisdom’s with Steph!
Well, Christmas is finally over. Sad day. But its that time of year where everyone sets those highly over-realistic goals for themselves that never seem to get achieved. You’ve gained all the weight from the marvelous Christmas dinners and parties and now it sits on you like flies on a poop log. Ew.
Right now, while you’re still burping up little gaseous reminders of the estimated 78 cheese puffs you consumed on Christmas, is the time to make your New Year’s resolutions.
Why make resolutions? Because you CAN be a better person. I bet you know somebody who seems to be perfect – somebody who always looks terrific; people who manage to devote plenty of time to both family and careers; somebody whose house is spotless, whose children are well-behaved and whose dog does not smell as if it sleeps on a bed of decomposing raccoons.
You wonder how that person “does it all,” don’t you? Well, stop wondering and do something! Start right now! Get up off the sofa, put on some active sportswear, and kill that person with a crowbar!
No, seriously, you need to make some New Year’s resolutions so that you can become a better you – a more-attractive you; an organized you; a you that is … well, less like you.
At this point you are saying: ” I would love nothing better than to be less like myself, but every year I make the same New Year’s resolution, which is that I will lose weight, and currently my thighs are the diameter of the sun.”
Don’t feel bad! Many people have trouble sticking to their resolutions,
So we see that keeping resolutions can be difficult. But you CAN do it, if you follow these practical tips:
1. BE REALISTIC.
Many people give up because they “set their sights too high.” In making a New Year’s resolution, pick a goal that you can reasonably expect to attain, as we see in these examples:
Unrealistic Goal: “In the next month, I will lose 25 pounds.”
Realistic Goal: “Over the next year, taking it an ounce or two at a time, I will gain 25 pounds, and my face will bloat like a military life raft.”
Unrealistic Goal: “I will learn to speak Chinese.”
Realistic Goal: “I will order some Chinese food.”
Unrealistic Goal: “I will read a good book.”
Realistic Goal: “I will examine the outsides of some good books, then waddle over to the part of the bookstore where they sell pastries.”
Unrealistic Goal: “I will do volunteer work for a worthy cause.”
Realistic Goal: “I will give myself a hearty scratching.”
2. THINK POSITIVE.
To succeed, you must believe in yourself. Write this motivational statement in large letters on a piece of paper and tape it someplace where you will see it often, such as on the inside of your eyeglasses:
“I CAN do it, and I WILL do it! Starting next year!”
3. LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES.
Let’s say that, like millions of weight-conscious Americans, you think you eat sensibly: Your diet consists almost exclusively of mineral water and low-calorie, low-fat foods. And yet you’re still gaining weight. Why? I’ll tell you why: You’re drinking water with minerals in it. Minerals are among the heaviest substances in the universe, second only to guests on The Jerry Springer Show. Think about it: The Appalachian mountains and most major appliances are essentially big wads
of minerals, and you’re putting those things into your body. No wonder you’re gaining weight!
TTFN…See ya next week! Steph
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