It has been a rough few days around here. I thought I was prepared for Erin moving out to Texas with Matt…but whew, I wasn’t prepared at all. I just thought I was. See, it had always been me and Erin against the world. He biological father has never really had anything much to do with her and she and I faced everything that came at us together. When Bric came along and Tate we gladly shared our lives but it was still me and Erin in many ways.
I was happy to see her fall in love. I loved watching her grow into a young woman. When the Army finally allowed Matt to come and collect his wife I was thrilled for them. All week I watched them gather things together, pack things up, pick up the uHaul, load the uHaul. But then Thursday came and the more the day dragged on the heavier my heart got. I wanted to be happy for her, but it was so hard watching my only daughter get ready to walk out the door knowing that she wouldn’t be back in a few days, or even a few weeks. Visits will be months away, there are just sooooo many miles between us.
I still can’t really talk about the details. It has just torn my heart out of my chest though. Normally I am not an emotional person and can keep myself in check but not on Thursday. I fell apart, I sobbed. And every time I think of it, I tear up. It is still going to take me a few days (or months at this rate) to adjust to our new reality around here but we will adjust. We will be ok…and so will she. Right now I am going to find me some reading glasses online so I can read this darn map I bought and start planning my trip to Texas!