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The Mass Murder

Wednesday Wisdoms with Steph

I’m almost positive everyone has read about at least one of my crazy/amusing mornings driving to school. The vans, the dogs, etc. Well, now I can add one more to the list… birds. Ever heard the expresssion killing 2 birds with one stone. I think I just made this saying even more epic. I killed 4 birds with one car!!
So I’m driving down the road minding my own business. You know how birds just sit in the road when their is roadkill? Well… this is the case for my story. A flock of small gray birds were just huddling in my lane. Usually they fly off before the car actually gets to them. And they did, just as i suspected. I was in the right lane…they flew to the right. And just to clear something up, I think birds are the STUPIDEST creature alive. They run into windows even when you DON”T use Windex. Lol.
So they go to the right and then out of nowhere! they made an immediate u-turn and started flying toward the road! Keep in mind I am going like 60 mph on this little back country road with no one around. The birds, in the U-turn process, are now flying directly in front of my car!!! You would think they would fly up or around or something…anything….to get out of the way. Nope. They are stupid. All of a sudden BOOM BOOMBOOM BOOOOM.!!!!!!.( Side note: I am one of those people who absolutely hates feeling roadkill under my tire. I cringe, I scream, I freak out. It just doesn’t work with me.)
Theeeeenn started the screaming. LOL I freaked out. The birds literally hit my car!! OMG. I seriously about started to cry but at the same time it was kinda funny that the birds just flew into my car and no one was around to witness my mass murder. Tehehe. Anyway, I didn’t see them anywhere after their ridiculous collision with my massive Buick Lacrosse. ( Big to me because I am a small girl. lol) So I got to school and told everyone that sits with me and they thought it was hilarious. But at the time I was very upset about this. Think about it… I just killed FOUR of God’s creatures. And not just any creature.. the only flying animal alive!! How cool is that? And I, Stephanie, just about put them into extinction. Yay me. LOL I was afraid to look at the front of my car afterwords, in fear that a bird might me gruesomely shoved in my grill. Later, I came to the conclusion that if there was it would make the story 10x funnier. Ha! So after school I gained enough courage to look and nothing was there EXCEPT feathers shoved in the groove of my headlights. Ew. I took a picture with my nifty cellular device but unfortunately I can’t put that on here because I don’t know how. Sorry.
Lesson learned: Birds are stupid. Windex doesn’t work. And I still don’t know how to get feathers out of my headlights.
~See you guys next week, and sorry for the slightly late post. Toodles!!~

Tags: birds, car, drive, kill, murder, school, steph, wednesday, wisdom